Hitting for fun?

Kiss it all better

C'mon now... what kind of freaks do that? Why we do what we do; BDSM sensation play, spanking, flogging, whipping and the classic masochist.

I know. I know. I had the same reaction at first. But before I get to actually explaining why we do what we do, let me remind readers that BDSM isn't always about giving and receiving pain. (Sometimes it is! But not always.) Not everyone who likes a little pain play would be defined as a classic masochist.

Just to put a little perspective on things, imagine with me for a minute. You're in line at Wally World. The lady behind you is holding an armload of clothes. She's a bit too close, kind of irritating. She shifts her armload, and a damn hanger lightly scrapes your back.

 "Oh, I'm sorry!" She steps back a bit, you don't act the ass, graciously forgive her and cooperatively you both adjust your space so she isn't encroaching with her damn hangers. It's all good and pretty much forgotten.

Remember, I said lightly scrapes. If it had been a rougher scrape, you might still feel it, which would only add to your irritation. But since it was light, most likely your senses were focused on the sense of encroachment, not on the sensation of actually being touched by the hanger. The mind will pick out the predominant stimulant and focus on that.

BDSM isn't always about giving and receiving pain. Not everyone who likes a little pain play would be defined as a classic masochist.

Now, that night you're getting ready for bed. The wife sees the scrape and lightly runs her finger along it asking what happened here? Her voice is slightly accusing, or at least suspicious. You explain the Wally World hangers lady, and again, you barely register feeling the trace of her finger along your back. Again, the mind has selected what was important here, and set aside the sensation.

Now, Saturday morning you're standing at the coffee pot, and wife snakes up behind you with a delicious slithery tone in her voice. She traces a fingernail lightly along your back, and walks off, begging you to follow her. "Wait! Come back! MY BACK ITCHES NOW!"

You catch up with her and some back-scratching ensues. If she just does one light scratch and then stops, it'll drive you mad. Your senses have been primed to receive a backscratch, and the phantom itch is now strutting all over your back, first itching here, now there, now here again, begging to be scratched. Don't keep teasing it!

Some might want harder scratching, some might want longer, some might want scratching in two places at once. But nearly everyone will experience aspects of what I call "sensation creep". As you adjust to the level of input, you want (or need) more. Intercourse and back-scratching are only two examples of this universal skin factoid.

If you make love starting with slow easy thrusts, you know you will eventually get to that pound-slammin thing that happens just before orgasm. The level of intensity is ramped up WAY beyond what would be pleasurable at the beginning. If you bang away like that first off, well... c'mon man.

BDSM is just one more way people play with sensation. In the proper mindset, with trusted partners, they can explore many levels of sensation creep. This type of impact play can range from thrumming/ tapping on the skin, to light paddling, spanking, flogging, all the way to painful pinching, tickling, or whipping.

It may sound crazy if you're only looking at one point in time of their play, but there are several "light fingernail scratches" that have gone before, setting the scene for the ramped up intensity most people think of when BDSM is brought to mind. It's really not about pain at all, but about exploring sensations and how our bodies and minds process those sensations.